‘Gay’ or ‘Queer” the debate continues

 

What a great article in the March issue of Out by Paul Varnell (Columnist Speaks his mind: are you ‘queer’ or ‘gay’?) Kudos to you, sir. I’m right with you on most of your thoughts.

I have never liked the word “Queer”! I never felt I was queer in any way. Perhaps trans people feel that they can relate with a group that is also made up of the victims of hate crimes, discrimination, etc, and have no other group to relate to; so they find solace in our group. Maybe it’s the same with other minorities.

I was married for almost 50 years—and my wife knew [about my sexual orientation] before marriage. We raised four children, and, of course had problems—what marriage doesn’t? I loved her with all my heart and was her care-taker for the last three years, until she died May of 2007.

If you care to discuss that lifestyle further, I’m willing. All through my life I pursued men, loved every minute of it, and had some great success with some pretty well-known people, who, of course, shall remain nameless—they ranged from figures in Hollywood, politics, sports, law, military and police and firemen, you name it. I never asked for money for anything; in fact, I refused to take money from many, did not think it was appropriate.

I am out to many of my friends, mostly other gays, also some fine hetero friends, and some family members. Not everyone is all that accepting, but that’s their loss, I think. I’d prefer that my name not be divulged, not all of my family is aware, and like to keep it that way. (You know: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”)

These are just some of my thoughts after reading your wonderful article, which jumped off the page at me, since I guess I hold the same thoughts and values. Thanks.

—“N. M. Handel”